last summer i was so depressed cause i had no money and all i did was sit around and write and draw and check out movies from the library cause i couldn’t even afford netflix. i thought it was the worst. but i wrote two plays. this summer, i have some money, and i’m not completely deprived of everything, yet i have hardly written at all. i haven’t really done anything productive. i went SO hard this past semester, i just graduated from college, so i’m just telling myself that i need a break. but real writers don’t take breaks. what if i can only write when i’m depressed? i don’t want to be depressed my entire life! maybe i will just read and watch the same things from last summer and see where that gets me. maybe i will just start drinking all day every day, again.or something. FUCK. what is that something?

ok i’m hungover and i just had an idea. Total Art. An artist community comes together, and ‘buys’ someone’s story. a poor person’s story, and then they use that as inspiration for art. It would totally cut out the middle man in ‘awareness’ events and cut out the humiliation of ‘benefits’. It wouldn’t even have to be some horrible story, as to avoid exploitation. something like ‘why i regret losing my virginity on christmas morning’. so you could have dancers creating dances, painters creating paintings, musicians creating music, theatre people doing theatre things, etc. If you charged like 5-8 dollars for this event, and had a lot of people supporting it, you could make a lot of money. So then you would give all of the money ‘raised’ to the person who inspired the art. and all of the artists would be seen and shit. Personally, i would have no problem with selling some story of mine to create all that art, especially if i was going to be making a lot of money. They say art is ‘stealing’, why can’t it be ‘buying’?

i hate that most art is derived from depression. guess it’s time to listen to some Goldberg Variations.

oh yea! here’s a sweet picture of MY tj maxx. isn’t it pretty?!? see that person walking out the door? it’s not me, but it could have been! this is an older picture because we have really high tech sliding doors now. you know, the kind that walmart had installed back in ‘88. i love my TJ Maxx!! it can be found at 10 and 18 West Fourth Street, right in the heart of downtown Cincinnati, the self proclaimed most violent city in the nation.

worked the night shift tonight at 4th street. tornado warnings on the tv and shit, SO i didn’t think it was gunna be 2 busy. and it wasn’t until about 5 when i guess people’s ice started melting and they realized they weren’t gunna be flown away to OZ. so shit starts to git real.

1- crazy man cums in and fills up trashbag with $300 dollars worth of SHIT. like clearence item shit. drops the bag, walks out like it aint no thang. comes back an hour later, looks for the bag. no dice. leaves, comes back with a big ol cardboard box. literally starts walkin thru the aisles and just sweepin shit off the shelves into the box. preoceeds to walk out like he just packed his last box and is movin on up outa the ghetto. WRONG. unluckily 4 him, the head of Loss Prevention (aka tow yo ass to jail club) is in, and pulls sum kinda magik where no one even knew sumthin was wrong. he musta played nice cause when the copers were walkin him out to the wagon, they were spittin like dayd known each other fer years. probably have. they probably just taken him back to jail so they can have their card buddy for the night. that’s how jail works right?

B- the best pH test to see if someone is up to no good is if they start talkin a lot. kinda how if someone gits pulled over and they got crack, and the popo let em go, they start talkin all kindly cause they think dey got away. NEWAYZ. another good pH test to see if someone ISN’T crazy is if they got American Express, cause that shit has to be paid ON TIME o else shit’s lookin bad for the next 7 years. NEWAYZ. these two tests hardly ever coincide, but ofcourse they did tonight. so man walks up to me tryin to buy a belt. aint nothin 2 harmful about a belt. and he’s well dressed and pays with an american express. in and out, bada bing bada boom. NOPE. when i am having him sign 4 his card, i guess he didn’t like that i laid the pen down instead of handing it 2 him. so crazy grabs my hand and violently shoves the pen back in it. he says ‘NOW I AINT GUNNA DO U LIKE YOU JUST DID ME. DIDN’T YO MAMA TEACH YOU TO HAND SOMETHING TO SOMEONE WHEN THEY REACHING 4 IT?” straight uuuup talkin in ebonics when 2 seconds ago he was all rubbin elbows with Obama like. so im like “….uhh…. well haven’t you ever heard the superstition that it’s bad luck to hand something directly to someone. you’re supposed to set it down first.” then he gits this krazy look in his eye and says “AINT NO SUCH THANG AS SUPERSTITION IF U BELIEVE IN GOD”. whaaaaat. so i say “well some people are weird and you can never be too carfeul”. then it’s like all ova sudden the devil left him and he politely starts lecturing me on why i should be a Christian. then he starts talking about LOS LONELY BOYS. yea, the band. FINALLY he just walks away mid sentence. this whole encounter lasted about 8 minutes.